Coffee Sluts?

Coffee Sluts?

There’s a wonderful, or terrible, group in SL, “CoffeeSluts of Second Life”.


The wonderful part is that SL is filled with beautiful, unique coffee shops. And they’re all empty all the time. It’s sad!

Ugly dance clubs with crappy 80’s music are overflowing! But the beautiful coffee shops sit idle.

CoffeeSluts of Second Life meets up at different coffee shops around the grid. At the time of this blog post there are 241 members. Their morning and evening coffee shop meetups breathe life into these dormant beauties.


I’m a coffee drinker. A coffee addict, even. I’m a princess, a brat, and a smartass. I’m a former SL Latex Model and I’ve definitely teased more than my share of kinksters over the SL years.

But I am not a slut.

I don’t appreciate being called one (I get angry when someone calls me “hun”!) And I don’t understand why a group that likes to drink coffee needs such a vulgar word choice for their name. Half the time I see their notices and choose not to attend simply because I’m so repulsed by the name.


Sometimes it feels like SL is the land of awkward choices.

Cigarettes are deadly. We’ve known for ages that they cause cancer, emphysema, and other diseases. Cigarettes end lives years earlier than they otherwise would.

Drop by Flickr sometime and see how many avatars, even here in 2023, seem to feel that they can only convey Identity, Style, Cool, by putting a cigarette in their hand.

No, avatars don’t get cancer. But why do we want to continue to normalize and legitimize a deadly addiction?

And why do I have to be called a slut if I want to join a coffee group.

CoffeeSluts of Second Life has 241 members at the time of this blog post.

A Better World

We all know that there are living, breathing, feeling, real people behind every avatar. People who may not want to be thought of as a slut. People who may not want to end their life early because of a deadly addiction.

SL is real!

Which means that everything we do here, from calling people sluts to glamorizing lethal addictions, and more, has a real effect on real people in the real world.

I apologize for being the language police. But I wish we wouldn’t try so hard to be cool that we create a more harsh and destructive world in the process.

CoffeeSluts of Second Life meeting at God Shot Cafe in the Gaenari region of the Second Life Mainland

2 thoughts on “0

  1. Update: CoffeeSluts of Second Life just republished their 4-1/2 page, 1,482 word, Group Guidelines. It’s here:


    The Rules:
    1. No abuse of group members or admins/moderators.
    This includes name-calling and other insults

    Intolerance – Linden Lab encourages social interactions between users across multiple countries. The use of derogatory or demeaning language or images based on race, ethnicity, gender, religion, or sexual orientation is prohibited. Actions that marginalize, belittle, or defame users or groups are similarly prohibited.

    4. Questionable or borderline posting and conversation

    Being part of a group means recognizing that everyone’s sense of humor will not be the same, our membership should understand that words have power and can be harmful. Jokes about sex, age, or gender, may be inappropriate for a diverse group.

    § Gender bashing in any form is not acceptable.


    I’ve already made my point in the post above. Still, I’m at a loss to understand how a group that purports to uphold all these high social standards embeds an offensive, misogynist, patriarchal, gender-based slur in it’s very name. It’s disappointing.

    What’s wrong with “CoffeeLovers”, “CoffeeSLovers” or any other non-insulting name?

  2. Another Followup —
    It’s mid-October and all the Halloween installations are raging. This “Top SL Haunted Places” notice came in today:

    “Haunted Skybox at AO — Come over and explore the skybox! We have creepy rides, ghosts, cemeteries, crawly things, haunted house, lots of interactive items, a pumpkin patch, and even Halloween trivia! *Note: G rated sim”

    When you arrive at the beautifully decorated sim you’re greeted by a notice:

    “[19:18] Adoption Options 2.0: Welcome Adoption Options 2.0 Kate Nova ! Please make sure your profile is PG friendly, NO foul language or Adult content, this includes your groups, picks etc. Appropriate attire to be worn for a G rated sim. Thank You”

    “NO foul language… this includes your groups”

    Sounds like if I’m a member of “Coffee Sluts” I can’t visit the AO Haunted sim.
    What’s in a name?

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Authors @Kate

  1. Another Followup --- It's mid-October and all the Halloween installations are raging. This "Top SL Haunted Places" notice came in…

  2. Update: CoffeeSluts of Second Life just republished their 4-1/2 page, 1,482 word, Group Guidelines. It's here: ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Rules:…

  3. As a former head of training, stories like this are heartbreaking because to me, rejecting a trainee simply because they…