Love / Hate
For so many of us SLCS is a beautiful and nourishing place. Yet for so many of us it is also a place of pain and disappointment.
Hello / Goodbye
I rezzed in SL in 2009. Abbie and I trained for SLCS with Srooc in 2011. Over the years I’ve come and gone from both SL and SLCS. I’ve been away more than I’ve been present. But sooner or later, I do drop back in.
This week I participated in SLCS Practice on Thursday night, hosted a Fireside Chat on the Concourse Level of Srooc Skytower Memorial Stadium on Friday Morning, visited with a few cheerleaders later on Friday, and joined a rambling Class of 2011 practice at midfield on Saturday.
I heard about a few recent scandals, a banned cheerleader, a cheerleader who felt so homeless at SLCS that, like others, she left and started her own squad, and other tales of frustration and disappointment.
Why Stay?
Why do we stay when so many of us find the culture and authoritarianism of SLCS so stifling? Why don’t we just go to some other SL organization that has all the good without all the drama?
I think it’s not that easy.
Sure there are poetry groups, art collectives, and an endless list of SL dungeons. But the sisterhood that we find at SLCS is not that easy to come by. Some of us want that connection badly enough that we fantasize that we can actually make SLCS more inclusive and offering of more opportunity even if you joined later than 2008.
Nothing New
Frustration at SLCS is nothing new. I hear a dose of it every time I check in. I used to hear plenty in the morning chats of a few years back. And when Gwyn and I tried to update the Rank Controller to better reflect our sororal values instead of the numb, mindless repetition of vault jumps, we met with equal parts support and resistance. In the end, we weren’t able to push our new ideas through and to this day we have a Rank Controller that, IMHO, promotes exactly the wrong values for SLCS.
And still we stay.
Well, plenty of us do leave. But many others stay despite the frustration and disappointment. Some cheerleaders’ dreams are slowly realized after years of effort. Other cheerleaders who have worked so hard and been so highly decorated within the squad have been drummed out without ever really knowing why.
CheerCourt / RoH
CheerCourt was an instrument of compliance within SLCS. I know of at least one innovative cheerleader whose work still resonates at SLCS but who left the squad when threatened with being dragged before CheerCourt for her creative efforts. I’ve heard that CheerCourt has now been abandoned in favor of the ascendant Ring of Honor.
Like so many things that SLCS founder Christi Charron set up, the SLCS Ring of Honor was modeled after the Dallas Cowboys and their cheerleaders. Most sports teams, and most NFL football teams, retire the numbers of their greatest players. The Cowboys do not. Instead, players and other individuals are inducted into the Cowboys “Ring of Honor.” This honor is bestowed by the current Cowboys owner and over the years it’s been very political. Giants in Cowboys history have been denied entry.
At SLCS the RoH was similarly founded to honor cheerleaders who have provided great service to the squad over the years. The RoH was a purely honorific society. But as our founder Christi Charron became less active and less present after many years of guiding the squad, the RoH took the liberty of appointing itself as the administrators of the squad.
Cheerleader opinions on RoH leadership are varied. Some find RoH a well-intentioned and valuable rudder for our large and diverse organization. Others find it authoritarian, oppressive, and stifling of all things new.
CheerAdmin
I’ve written in the past about the “Zen of CheerAdmin.” About the idea of simply being present at Cheertopia and accepting things as they come. Our egos can only be bruised if we lead with our egos. If we come to SLCS with no expectations, if we are as selfless as possible, then whatever we do get, is good. We expected nothing and we got something. Net gain.
We Choose Pain
I don’t think I’ve ever checked into SLCS without hearing some story of pain. Of someone’s disappointment. Of a misunderstanding that’s left a cheerleader standing alone in the rain.
We constantly hear paeans to the sororal virtues of SLCS. How we offer unconditional support. How we love and care for all cheerleaders. These paeans are well meaning. Yet they so often ring hollow. We’re told to love and support each other, but only if you do it my way.
Leave First Life in First Life
While not the main point of this blog post, it might be worth a word about Second Life and our First Life values.
In our increasingly polarized First Lives, we all have our various ideologies and world views. Because Second Life is “real,” it’s understandable and normal to bring those fleshvatar values into our virtual lives.
Understandable, but perhaps not wise for a squad like SLCS. We are large and diverse. Whatever opinions my typist may have, there will be other Cheerleaders who share those views. But there will also be Cheerleaders who hold opposing views. It is our fleshvatars’ burden to try to negotiate these differences out in FL. But if we can set them aside during our time in SL, we may be able to find more shared values and harmonious experiences with more people.
Even in FL, if I happen to be Right, Left, or Other, telling you that only idiots are Other, Left, or Right doesn’t help. It doesn’t change views or reach compromise. Our fleshvatars have the considerable task of letting go of our big ideologies and focusing instead on getting to know their fellow citizens and neighbors as human beings. Not “what are your politics – are you smart or stupid?” But “what is your life about? What brings you joy? What challenges do you face? What scares you? How do you try to give your children the best life you’re able?” Discovering common humanity, I believe, is the only way to reach understanding and compromise in FL.
Perhaps that’s true of SL as well. But across the SL grid, and here in Cheertopia, we don’t have to bring those FL problems with us. We can try to leave them at the door. Second Life may not “be a game,” still, if we’re going to live in this world, if we’re going to play this “game,” shouldn’t we do our best to make it a fun and enriching “game” and not a painful experience for ourselves and everyone else?
A Way Forward?
Is there a way forward? Honestly, I don’t think SLCS will ever change. It will always have an undercurrent of authoritarianism. Over many years, exactly who gets to push people around might change slightly, but it will always be that way. The coerciveness and limitations of SLCS will never leave.
I don’t think the way forward is to change SLCS because I don’t believe that is possible.
I think the way forward is to change the self.
Of course my “Zen of CheerAdmin” stories are a sort of joke. CA is a bot. Unlike you and I CA has no ego to bruise and never feels frustrated or oppressed at SLCS.
Interestingly, CheerAdmin was created by Taylor as a stat-bot to collect squad data. But recently, Tropikitra has created a Cheertopia tour led by… CheerAdmin! Because of the contributions of multiple cheerleaders, CheerAdmin has exceeded her programming.
Perhaps we can all exceed our avatar programming. Not by bending SLCS to our will. But by bending our wills to SLCS. Or more precisely, by being as selfless as we are able. By expecting as little from SLCS as possible. By being present (if we’re not banned) and by accepting whatever graciousness we encounter, whatever sisterly experiences we have, as the juicy fruits of SLCS.
Privilege / Curse
It is a privilege to be a part of SLCS. And yes, it can sometimes seem like a curse.
Honestly, I never imagined that Second Life or Linden Lab would last this long! In-between complaining about lag, or authoritarianism, or whatever the gripe of the day might be, I try to remind myself that I’m lucky to be here.
I try to remind myself that this world might not be here tomorrow.
I try to remind myself that I might not be here tomorrow.
I try to remind myself that every day is a privilege. I try to savor the fruit that I am so lucky to taste.
I try to expect less. And give more.
PS:
None of the photographs accompanying this post represent the pain of SLCS. They all represent the joy. The joy of belonging. The joy of sharing. The joy of cheering and dancing. The joy of sisters old and new. These candid pictures of an impromptu practice at midfield are simple. And the best of this world.
Cheerleader, Roller Derby girl, Barista, and Host. I’ve seen so much love, beauty, and desire in SL. I’m touched by the tiny acts of kindness that surround us every day.
